My Scariest Moment as a Mommy...

...all thanks to a BEAN!

Tuesday, April 23, 2013 started off like any other day. Grace and I enjoyed a lazy morning lounging around the house, hanging out in our pajamas, playing and watching some DVRed episodes of Princess Sophia. I caught up on some of my picking up around the house and cleaning, after being out of town for a week and having my in-laws stay here with Grace. It was about 11:45 and I just laid out Grace's and my clothes for us to start getting dressed when she found a bean on the floor. It was a dried pinto bean on the floor. (I need to pause here and explain the dried pinto bean...I have made Grace several different sensory bins for her to play and explore with, one included dried pinto beans for her to sort, fill containers with and pour. She has had it for about 5-6 months and has NEVER put them in her mouth.) She picked up the dried pinto bean and said, "gurgy (dirty), trash." "That's right," I said, "Let's go put it in the trash." (I don't know about other now 18 month olds, but Grace LOVES to be a helper, especially when it comes to putting stuff in the trash for Mommy or Daddy.) She started off towards the kitchen, when all of a sudden she started making this strange coughing-choking-screaming sound. I immediately picked her up to comfort her and tried to get her to calm down. I just knew it was the bean, I just knew she that swallowed it or chocked on it or something. She was crying and coughing and gasping, and I was freaking out.

I called Paul and told him what happened and that I was going to call the pediatrician to see if I needed to come in to the office, take her to the ER, or what I needed to do. I called Raleigh Children and Adolescents (I feel the need to give them a shout out because they are AWESOME!...not just this time, but always.) I pushed the number for the option to speak to a nurse, she answered and I explained to her the situation. She told me to come in and they would work me in. I hung up and grabbed a sweatshirt and the diaper bag and headed for the door. My phone rang, it was her checking on me to make sure that I knew which location to come to and to see if I was on my way. I was in fact, in my mind, heading to the wrong office. I was thinking of the Brier Creek Office that we usually go to because it is closer. (They wanted me to come to their Blue Ridge Office location because it is adjacent to Rex Hospital, just in case) I told her I was on my way. I buckled Grace in her carseat, and we headed on our way.

I called Paul to let him know what was going on, and then I called my Mom...because I needed her to held keep me calm. As long as I stayed calm, Grace stayed calm and there was no coughing and gasping. When I had my little freak out moment, so did she, and she started not only crying, but coughing and gasping.

We got to the pediatricians office and they took us straight back. The pediatrician monitored her and checked her breathing and decided we should head next door to Rex hospital for an x-ray, just to be safe. About that time, Grace needed a diaper change, so we laid her down to change her and she because the gasping and coughing again. He said, "I'm glad you just did that, I changed my mind, I am sending you to the children's ER at Wake Med Hospital - Raleigh...by ambulance." Paul went and got Grace's carseat while we waited for the ambulance to arrive.

Once the ambulance got there, they strapped Grace's carseat to the stretcher and buckled her in. I road in the seat beside it, and Paul followed behind in the Pilot. We arrived at the Children's ER and went straight back to a triage room, and had a nurse waiting on us. He took Grace's vitals and hooked her up to several different machines to monitor her. A few minutes later, the ER doctor arrived and checked her breathing. He recommended that Grace have a chest X-ray. About the time, the pediatric ENT came in and checked her breathing and agreed that a chest x-ray was needed. They took Grace and x-rayed her chest. We got back to the room, and the doctors came in right behind us to let us know that the x-ray confirmed that the bean was in fact in her right lung and that she needed to have emergency surgery to remove it. We waited a few minutes, and they took us up to the pre-op room. After asking us the same 17 questions we have now been asked by everyone, the pediatric anesthesiologist took Grace in her arms and carried her back to the operating room to give her the anesthesia and IV to prep her for surgery.

Paul and I emotionally and reluctantly went to check in at the waiting room. We started getting a little worried after about an hour, but thankfully the ENT came out and let us know that they were still working on her. The bean was coming out in pieces, since by now, it had been in her warm, moist lung for about 4 hours. About an hour later, they called our name over the loud speaker and we went to the desk where they told us that Grace was out of surgery...Praise the Lord! The ENT and anesthesiologist came out and told us that everything went well and that she was recovering well. They were able to remove all of the bean, although it took over 2 hours and them using the scope 37 times. We made our way to the recovery room, where we found Grace coming out of the anesthesia. They gave her a small does of pain medicine, to help take the edge off as she came out from under the anesthesia. They had me sit in a wheelchair and had me hold Grace in my lap while they attached all of the various machines to it and transported us to the Pediatric Intensive Care Unit.

Once we got to the PICU, they transferred her to a crib and after giving her her "Pappy" and "Bankie" (paci and blankie), we were able to get her to go to sleep within a few minutes. By this time, it was about 8pm. Paul left to let out the dog and to pack us a small overnight bag (since he was still in his work clothes and I was still in my pajamas). He got back about 9:30, I took a quick shower, and we headed downstairs to grab a quick dinner. Once we got back to the room, we unfolded the love seat (which conveniently folded out to a double bed so we could both sleep there together) and went to sleep.

We slept pretty well, considering all of the coming in and out to check on Grace. About 4am, Grace decided to pull out her IV, which made her scream and wake us both up, and she got blood everywhere. Thankfully, a nurse was actually in the room, so I was able to hold and comfort Grace while Paul held all of the wires and 2 nurses changed the sheets and Grace's gown. We were all, thankfully, able to go back to sleep for a few more hours.

At about 8, the nurse woke us up so that we could help Grace eat breakfast and get ready to get discharged. Grace ate an entire banana, 3 pieces of bacon, and all of her eggs. The poor thing hadn't eaten since 7am the previous day. A few minutes later, the doctor came in and checked her out and gave us the OK to be discharged. We got Grace dressed and watches some cartoons as they finished her paper work. Finally, almost 2 hours later, we were cleared to go home. We were instructed to give Grace 2 different prescriptions for a few days and to check back with the pediatric ENT in 2 weeks.

Talk about an experience! I am so thankful that everything turned out OK. As soon as I got home, I did a sweet of the house to make sure that there were no more beans on the floor!...lol. The most important thing that I learned from this experience is to TRUST YOUR GUT, when it comes to your kids, trust your Mommy instincts!...and pray.

You know you are a Mommy when...

- you seem to never be able to end the day in a clean shirt.

- your car slows down or speeds up and music plays (usually from one or more children's items in the back seat, diaper bag, or tailgate.)

- you never really get a good night's sleep, even if your child doesn't wake you up, because you have a to-do list running through your head or you are just worried about something (usually relating to your child.)

- you enjoy eating leftovers, only because that means that you don't have to cook that night.

- you trade your Coach purse for a diaper bag, or if you choose to one day carry a purse then it typically has at least one diaper, wipes, extra passy, one or more toys, a book, a bib/burp cloth, and a formula packet with an empty bottle (well, maybe not the last part if you are blessed to be able to nurse.)

- you choose to surround yourself with more children just to be able to sneak in a little light, interrupted conversation in with another Mommy or two. (AKA a playdate)

- you get excited about hearing a burp or poop.

- your schedule usually revolves around naps and feedings(and not your own).

- your favorite thing about nap time is actually when your baby wakes up from it and gives you warm, under the chin, sleepy, cuddly hugs.

- you are cooking dinner and you realize that you never actually ate lunch.

- you have nothing breakable in your house from your waist down, including on your Christmas tree.

- you get really excited about being able to take a long shower or bath without having to set a child up with an activity or distraction and without having someone watch you (and I don't mean your husband...lol).

- you spend more money on cute little clothes that are only worn for a few months than your own wardrobe, which you usually wear for a few years.

- your child-less date night somehow seems to end up including some type of errand for your child.

- you call your friends "Auntie" or "Mrs." so-and-so, even when your children aren't around.

- you refer to ages in weeks or months (except your own...that would be SCARY!)

- you call your hubby "daddy" instead of his own name.

You also know you are a Mommy when you love EVERY bit of it and wouldn't change a thing! :)

Being a Mommy is hard

I love being a Mommy, but I would be lying if I didn't say that it was hard.

When Grace was born, her weight was in the 50% percentile. At her 2 week appointment, she dropped to the 10th percentile. And at her 2 month appointment, she dropped to the 5th percentile. Grace's pediatrician had me go off of dairy to see if that would help (I was lactose intolerant as a baby and young child) We went back today, and she has dropped to the 2nd percentile. Paul's brother's girls were both in the bottom percentile as a baby, and finding that out made me feel a little better. The pediatrician said that her height to weight ratio is proportional, so she is not too concerned, but to be on the safe side, she is going to run some tests. Now, I have to get a stool sample from Grace and take back to the lab so they can test it. I also have to get in touch with a lactation consultant who will come over here and test my milk to see if it the caloric volume per ounce is high enough. Even though she has said she is not concerned, I am SO WORRIED! I just keep praying, and if you could too. I know God is in control, but that doesn't always make it any easier when it's your child.