Just what the Dr ordered

Walking into the my OB's office and seeing all of the pregnant bellies and new babies, I couldn't help but get choked up. Paul checked us in at the counter and we went and sat down in the back corner of the waiting room and held hands in silence while we waited to hear our name. A few minutes later, a nice nurse is leading us to the back and has Paul sit down on the bench to wait while she gets my stats. I sit down in the same chair that I always sat in to get my blood pressure and various other stats taken. Tears start streaming down my cheeks. She hands me a tissue and we go get Paul and head into an examination room. The Dr comes in and examines me. After the exam, he tells us that he wants to have some blood work done and to send me to have an hysterosalpingogram (HSG). We leave the examination room and head over to the nurse's station, where she draws SEVEN viles of blood to test. We check out, pay, and leave the OB office.

A few days later, Paul and I head to the fertility clinic so I can have my HSG done. I am so anxious! As we sit in the waiting room, we hear a patient telling the front desk staff that she is pregnant and thanks them for being so wonderful. Modern medicine...what a blessing! They call my name and I head back to this teeny tiny room with a huge machine in it, so big that they tell me that I have to leave Paul behind because there isn't enough room for him in there too! The nurse preps me for my proceedure. The Dr comes in and begins. Now, I love all things medically related. I think that modern medicine is amazing, a blessing from the Lord, but I am super SUPER anxious...and not just for the proceedure itself, but for what the results might be. Using an xray machine, the doctor uses a catheter to inject a die into my uterus that then flows into my fallopian tubes and then into my overies. My fear was soon overcome by interest in what was happening on the screen. It was pretty amazing to see what he was able to do! It took all of 10 minutes and he was done.

A few more days pass and Paul and I head back to the OB to get the results of all of the bloodwork, HSG, and pathology labs. My bloodwork came back normal...PRAISE THE LORD. My HSG came back clear...PRAISE THE LORD. My pathology reports from the birth showed that I had a blood clot pass during delivery. The Dr thinks that it may have played a part in the loss of Noah, but it may not have. One thing I have not mentioned before is that during the beginning of Noah's pregnancy, I had what they call a "vanishing twin". At my 7 week ultrasound, the OB was able to see two sacks, one that had a heart beat and one that did not. My pregnancy started out as twins and we lost the first baby before we even knew that there were two in there. The OB was able to tell that the baby stopped developing at 6 weeks. What a hard thing to hear. The OB is unsure if that played a part in losing Noah or not. In a way, I want there to be something wrong so that it can explain why we lost Noah and so that we can fix it. I tell the OB this, he says, "Well, at least we didn't find something wrong that can't be fixed." Touché.

Overall, the OB feels that losing my last pregnancy was a "fluke," and that I should be able to get pregnant and stay pregnant again. We have been given the all clear to begin trying again whenever we feel emotionally ready. He did say that as of now, I am on their "high risk" list and that my file will be entered in now so that their high risk doctors can get familiar with my case. He also said that they will most likely take a few precautionary measures during our next pregnancy. 1 - I will most likely have to have a cerclage (stitch my cervix closed). 2 - I will most likely have to take a protein to help keep my uterus relaxed. 3 - I will most likely have to take a perscription to keep the bacteria levels down. (I really don't know what any of the means, but I pray that we will see in the future). The OB said, "I hope to see you back here in two months, pregnant with one baby." I don't know about two months or one baby. We will have to see what God has in store for us. Right now, I just keep praying for my emotional well being. I feel that overall I am progressing, but I have my days where I feel like a take a step back. It is amazing what little things can trigger an emotion!

I know that all of this is a part of God's plan for me, my family, and our journey together. It is not always easy, in fact, it has been hard, but I know that we have each other and most importantly, we have Him!

"If God is for us, who can be against us?" Romans 8:31