Walking into the my OB's office and seeing all of the pregnant bellies and new babies, I couldn't help but get choked up. Paul checked us in at the counter and we went and sat down in the back corner of the waiting room and held hands in silence while we waited to hear our name. A few minutes later, a nice nurse is leading us to the back and has Paul sit down on the bench to wait while she gets my stats. I sit down in the same chair that I always sat in to get my blood pressure and various other stats taken. Tears start streaming down my cheeks. She hands me a tissue and we go get Paul and head into an examination room. The Dr comes in and examines me. After the exam, he tells us that he wants to have some blood work done and to send me to have an hysterosalpingogram (HSG). We leave the examination room and head over to the nurse's station, where she draws SEVEN viles of blood to test. We check out, pay, and leave the OB office.
A few days later, Paul and I head to the fertility clinic so I can have my HSG done. I am so anxious! As we sit in the waiting room, we hear a patient telling the front desk staff that she is pregnant and thanks them for being so wonderful. Modern medicine...what a blessing! They call my name and I head back to this teeny tiny room with a huge machine in it, so big that they tell me that I have to leave Paul behind because there isn't enough room for him in there too! The nurse preps me for my proceedure. The Dr comes in and begins. Now, I love all things medically related. I think that modern medicine is amazing, a blessing from the Lord, but I am super SUPER anxious...and not just for the proceedure itself, but for what the results might be. Using an xray machine, the doctor uses a catheter to inject a die into my uterus that then flows into my fallopian tubes and then into my overies. My fear was soon overcome by interest in what was happening on the screen. It was pretty amazing to see what he was able to do! It took all of 10 minutes and he was done.
A few more days pass and Paul and I head back to the OB to get the results of all of the bloodwork, HSG, and pathology labs. My bloodwork came back normal...PRAISE THE LORD. My HSG came back clear...PRAISE THE LORD. My pathology reports from the birth showed that I had a blood clot pass during delivery. The Dr thinks that it may have played a part in the loss of Noah, but it may not have. One thing I have not mentioned before is that during the beginning of Noah's pregnancy, I had what they call a "vanishing twin". At my 7 week ultrasound, the OB was able to see two sacks, one that had a heart beat and one that did not. My pregnancy started out as twins and we lost the first baby before we even knew that there were two in there. The OB was able to tell that the baby stopped developing at 6 weeks. What a hard thing to hear. The OB is unsure if that played a part in losing Noah or not. In a way, I want there to be something wrong so that it can explain why we lost Noah and so that we can fix it. I tell the OB this, he says, "Well, at least we didn't find something wrong that can't be fixed." Touché.
Overall, the OB feels that losing my last pregnancy was a "fluke," and that I should be able to get pregnant and stay pregnant again. We have been given the all clear to begin trying again whenever we feel emotionally ready. He did say that as of now, I am on their "high risk" list and that my file will be entered in now so that their high risk doctors can get familiar with my case. He also said that they will most likely take a few precautionary measures during our next pregnancy. 1 - I will most likely have to have a cerclage (stitch my cervix closed). 2 - I will most likely have to take a protein to help keep my uterus relaxed. 3 - I will most likely have to take a perscription to keep the bacteria levels down. (I really don't know what any of the means, but I pray that we will see in the future). The OB said, "I hope to see you back here in two months, pregnant with one baby." I don't know about two months or one baby. We will have to see what God has in store for us. Right now, I just keep praying for my emotional well being. I feel that overall I am progressing, but I have my days where I feel like a take a step back. It is amazing what little things can trigger an emotion!
I know that all of this is a part of God's plan for me, my family, and our journey together. It is not always easy, in fact, it has been hard, but I know that we have each other and most importantly, we have Him!
"If God is for us, who can be against us?" Romans 8:31
Tuesday, August 27, 2013
Friday, August 9, 2013
What's in a name?
I have ALWAYS wanted to give a daughter the name "Grace Pennington," in fact, when Paul and I were just dating we had a conversation about baby names (did anyone else do that?). Thankfully, he liked it to. I am so thankful for God's "grace" and want to share it with others, and what better way than in my child's name?
Grace's middle name is Pennington. My grandmother's (Nanny) madden name is Pennington. In fact, she goes by Penny (to anyone not related to her, that is). Not only is Nanny Paul's and my only surviving grandparent, but she is amazing. She has battled and beat skin and breast cancer. Most importantly, above all things, she loved the Lord and she still loves the Lord today. She and Paul have always had a special relationship, sharing books and having theological conversations. But sadly, in the last few years, she has gotten older and the conversations have become more about day to day life and less about theology. But she still loves the Lord. In everything, she gives thanks. When she fell and broke her thumb, she thanked the Lord it wasn't her hip.
I hope that I can be like her. I hope that people can look at me in my old age and say that I loved the Lord, that I still love the Lord. That, no matter what He brought me to, He led me through. Most importantly I hope and pray that I can teach and lead my daughter to be like her. Maybe, just maybe, by giving Grace a piece of her name, it can help me to be sure to give her a piece of Heaven.
Here are a few pictures from our last visit with Nanny. Hopefully we will see her again soon!
Grace's middle name is Pennington. My grandmother's (Nanny) madden name is Pennington. In fact, she goes by Penny (to anyone not related to her, that is). Not only is Nanny Paul's and my only surviving grandparent, but she is amazing. She has battled and beat skin and breast cancer. Most importantly, above all things, she loved the Lord and she still loves the Lord today. She and Paul have always had a special relationship, sharing books and having theological conversations. But sadly, in the last few years, she has gotten older and the conversations have become more about day to day life and less about theology. But she still loves the Lord. In everything, she gives thanks. When she fell and broke her thumb, she thanked the Lord it wasn't her hip.
I hope that I can be like her. I hope that people can look at me in my old age and say that I loved the Lord, that I still love the Lord. That, no matter what He brought me to, He led me through. Most importantly I hope and pray that I can teach and lead my daughter to be like her. Maybe, just maybe, by giving Grace a piece of her name, it can help me to be sure to give her a piece of Heaven.
Here are a few pictures from our last visit with Nanny. Hopefully we will see her again soon!
Monday, August 5, 2013
207 Windsong ~ A GOD THING
Today we sold our first house, 207 Windsong.
It has been a great house. Our first date actually started in this house. Paul proposed to me in this house. We found out that we were pregnant with Grace in this house. We had my sister's surprise sweet sixteen birthday party in this house. I cooked my first Thanksgiving turkey in this house. We decorated our first tree in this house. We had home shows, parties, cookouts, fights, great laughs, good cries, friends, neighbors, family, and memories in this house.
It wasn't our plan to sell this house, but God had another plan.
Between all of Grace's testing, her emergency surgery, and the loss of Noah, it is safe to say that we had a lot of medical expenses that had racked up. Paul and I knew we needed to do something from a financial stand point to ease the strain on our wallet. For the past two years, we have rented our house in Greenville. We had a great management company and were able to keep the same renters in our house, and they have been great! We get in touch with a mortgage broker and spoke with both banks (for our Windsong house and for our current house in Raleigh) to see what our options were about refinancing. Before we made any decisions, Paul contacted our realtor in Greenville just to see what the current value of our house was and what the current market was like. He told Paul that he actually might have a buyer. What? The next day he informs us that the buying program has been halted. The investment company has bought over 200 houses this year alone and was on backlog. Bummer. We had already gotten our hopes up that this was the solution. But...our realtor was able to push us through! ~ A GOD THING.
The next day, we have a contract on our house. It was with an investment company that had already bought four other houses in our neighborhood. As with any house, an inspector came by to do the inspection. Now mind you, we have NOT planned on putting the house on the market. We have only seen the inside of the house once since we started renting it. We still had tenants, so we expected there to be a few minor things here and there. There were fourteen items on the list. Fourteen. One of said items; tear down and rebuild the deck. I'm sorry, what? The investment company wanted to back out. Our realtor was awesome, he asked the investment company to wait and let their contractor go through the house and see what he thought. Thankfully they agreed, and our realtor, his contractor, and the investment company's contractor went through the house together. They were able to take some of the items off of the list, including tearing down and rebuilding the deck. It just needed to be restained. Shew. ~ A GOD THING.
It just so happened that Paul was asked to go to Peru with our church from back home. ~ A GOD THING.
This brought us to Greenville. (Grace and I stayed with my Mom and visited with friends and family while he was gone.) Sunday after church and Paul's return from Peru, Paul and his brother Drew spent the afternoon working on the list inside the house; fix a few lights, tighten a few door knobs, fix some electrical wiring, those kind of things, while I pressure washed the entire deck. Monday, Paul and I spent the entire morning staining the deck. It was nice to see the house one last time and it was so rewarding to do the work ourselves (not to mention, it saved us a lot of money!) ~ A GOD THING.
Two weeks later, while at the beach with Paul's family, and after signing and faxing a few papers, our house was sold and the money was in our bank account. ~ A GOD THING.
We were able to get our equity out of our house in Greenville and use it to not only pay off all of our medical debt, but pay off our Pilot, rebuild our savings account, do a few things to our house here in Raleigh to add value to our house to hopefully allow us to drop our PMI, and buy a new-to-us car for Paul. Just when we thought we were in over our heads, God provided...He provided for us above and beyond.
We just had to trust Him.
It's A GOD THING.
It has been a great house. Our first date actually started in this house. Paul proposed to me in this house. We found out that we were pregnant with Grace in this house. We had my sister's surprise sweet sixteen birthday party in this house. I cooked my first Thanksgiving turkey in this house. We decorated our first tree in this house. We had home shows, parties, cookouts, fights, great laughs, good cries, friends, neighbors, family, and memories in this house.
It wasn't our plan to sell this house, but God had another plan.
Between all of Grace's testing, her emergency surgery, and the loss of Noah, it is safe to say that we had a lot of medical expenses that had racked up. Paul and I knew we needed to do something from a financial stand point to ease the strain on our wallet. For the past two years, we have rented our house in Greenville. We had a great management company and were able to keep the same renters in our house, and they have been great! We get in touch with a mortgage broker and spoke with both banks (for our Windsong house and for our current house in Raleigh) to see what our options were about refinancing. Before we made any decisions, Paul contacted our realtor in Greenville just to see what the current value of our house was and what the current market was like. He told Paul that he actually might have a buyer. What? The next day he informs us that the buying program has been halted. The investment company has bought over 200 houses this year alone and was on backlog. Bummer. We had already gotten our hopes up that this was the solution. But...our realtor was able to push us through! ~ A GOD THING.
The next day, we have a contract on our house. It was with an investment company that had already bought four other houses in our neighborhood. As with any house, an inspector came by to do the inspection. Now mind you, we have NOT planned on putting the house on the market. We have only seen the inside of the house once since we started renting it. We still had tenants, so we expected there to be a few minor things here and there. There were fourteen items on the list. Fourteen. One of said items; tear down and rebuild the deck. I'm sorry, what? The investment company wanted to back out. Our realtor was awesome, he asked the investment company to wait and let their contractor go through the house and see what he thought. Thankfully they agreed, and our realtor, his contractor, and the investment company's contractor went through the house together. They were able to take some of the items off of the list, including tearing down and rebuilding the deck. It just needed to be restained. Shew. ~ A GOD THING.
It just so happened that Paul was asked to go to Peru with our church from back home. ~ A GOD THING.
This brought us to Greenville. (Grace and I stayed with my Mom and visited with friends and family while he was gone.) Sunday after church and Paul's return from Peru, Paul and his brother Drew spent the afternoon working on the list inside the house; fix a few lights, tighten a few door knobs, fix some electrical wiring, those kind of things, while I pressure washed the entire deck. Monday, Paul and I spent the entire morning staining the deck. It was nice to see the house one last time and it was so rewarding to do the work ourselves (not to mention, it saved us a lot of money!) ~ A GOD THING.
Two weeks later, while at the beach with Paul's family, and after signing and faxing a few papers, our house was sold and the money was in our bank account. ~ A GOD THING.
We were able to get our equity out of our house in Greenville and use it to not only pay off all of our medical debt, but pay off our Pilot, rebuild our savings account, do a few things to our house here in Raleigh to add value to our house to hopefully allow us to drop our PMI, and buy a new-to-us car for Paul. Just when we thought we were in over our heads, God provided...He provided for us above and beyond.
We just had to trust Him.
It's A GOD THING.
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